Photographic Memories

I used to be a woman who welcomed change and adventure. Not saying that I no longer do...but more these days I am a little slower to warm up to change and adventure has a entirely new meaning. With all certainty it has been the addition of each beauty that has made me this way. Once you have a full house of little ones it is important to have routine and schedule of day to day activities, but somehow you lose all sense of organization! So strange how that works out.

Around our home has been a busy time getting settled in...to a new place and a new schedule! New routes to school, new obstacles out the door, new rules, so many things are new new new!


Yet there are MANY things that remain the same in HollyHome! Kids everywhere thrive on knowing what to expect (unless it involves ice cream or Disney anything). Keeping the little ones in a solid routine great reduces fits, attitude and confusion. In return making happier and healthier children (so said the girls first pediatrician). Taking that advice and applying it has helped me tremendously as a mother. Bed time got easier, potty training was a breeze, dinner time went smoothly and all around makes us happy. The handsome pilot and I have found these tools to be beneficial in our lifestyle. We relocate for work. We both have ever changing work schedules. We can be known to change directions with a shift in weather just while driving to dinner. We confidently know that our children will easily adapt because the core of what we do and who we are as a family does not change.


Recently I have seen how these intangible gifts of routine are even ever changing...we can introduce new routines and new traditions without a huge disruption in the girls lives. WELL ALMOST! Some changes are out of our control and we do not give up our efforts of healing the uneasy parts of life.

In prayer lies the core of our routine. Every night and every meal we say prayer. I have mentioned this before in previous posts and when I say EVERY I mean MOST. There have been some spans of time where our routine was so fast paced at bed time that 'prayer' was a God bless you said on the way to the bedroom. Followed by me sneaking in later to make the sign of the cross on their foreheads whispering to them each individual prayers that I wrote after G was born. Other nights we just all pass out watching a movie or having the Sing It Karaoke Championships. The through line is that we don't forget God at bed time or meal time no matter how busy we get and no matter what has changed around us in life. Sometimes it's me saying prayer...sometimes it's Daddy...sometimes Tim. On lucky enough summer nights Grandma G is with them and it is a collection of songs to include 'Amazing Grace'...and that is her special gift to them. They love it and look forward to every visit because of that special time.

After our recent move it has been more important than ever to stick to our beloved bed time routine, as extra assurance that this is home! We also added in a little Shel Silverstein back into the routine, which dates all the way back to the days each of them was brought home from the hospital.

A few nights ago as I put the beauties to bed to say prayer they all decided that they would be sleeping in the same bed. Dru in her chosen spot crunched up tightly in the middle of her big sisters. All three pillow pets squeezed in a straight line across the top of the twin bed. Two empty beds stripped of stuffed animals and beloved blankets. One mommy moved to tears at the sight of three beautiful faces with eyes closed gently, hands clasped so God could hear them, and gentle whispers of The Lord's Prayer filling the room. I would give anything for a photograph of that moment! Any thought I had of moving them to their own beds after drifting off to sleep were removed and for the first time since we moved I felt completely and sincerely at HOME once again!

Sometimes I get so wrapped up in taking photos of events and fun times that I lose track of the TIME I am having. I forget to be involved in those moments. Don't get me wrong...I took a hiatus from extreme attachment to my camera for that reason...I know it's important to have those photographs. I sometimes wish I had more photographs, but there are so many moments that I am lucky enough to always close my eyes and go back to immediately. Having moments like that make life worth living.

Our family has finally found a rhythm again. We all know what is going to happen. How long it takes to drive to school. Which days we need to pack an extra snack for the car. Most importantly we have learned that while the world CAN and WILL change around us, we will remain the same. I am proud that we as parents never took the word FAMILY lightly. The Lord knows that with separation and time our family could have lost full sight of what we built our home on from the beginning...LOVE and FAITH. Coming back together again has in no way been easy, but it has not been a challenge either. When we feel out of touch...not at home...scared of the unknown future...we turn to prayer knowing that it will take us back to HOME where we feel safe and grateful for all we have been blessed to have and know as a family.

For us it's prayer. For Grandma G it's songs. For my Daddy it was morning talks. With Mama K it is coffee and chatter over the table. I am amazed what providing consistency can do for children and for a whole family. Being consistent and having a routine does not mean that things never change, it simply means take some things remain with you as it does and if you don't like what has changed then CHANGE IT BACK to the way it were!

Audree 2010

Grayce and AJ 2007

**To my beauties I would say... Enjoy every moment you are given in this lifetime. Take photographs of the great moments. Always remember to be a part of the amazing moments. Know your family has faith in all that you choose to do and be. Most of all say your Prayers and brush your teeth before you go to sleep...it's the fastest way back 'home' again! --All my love Mommy

A rare photo of bedtime with Grandma G during a visit 'home' in 2010.

What Did You Just Call Me?

So I am up later than normal. Not sure if it was that cup of coffee that I was craving, but knew I shouldn't drink and did anyway. Stress? Not feeling well? Creative mind at work? Thinking of all the house stuff left to do? Unfinished shopping list? OR if it is that awkward back to work goodbye that I had with the handsome pilot before he went back to work.

Part of me wants to check FlightAware to see how he is doing...BUT I did that once and it didn't go to well. Actually that last sentence is a HELL of an understatement and deserves a short story.

For those of you that don't know FlightAware is an site online where you (anyone) can check the status of a flight. If you know the tail number to the aircraft or the flight number if its commercial. Well one late night a few years ago (I was pregger with Audree), the handsome pilot took a week of work moving a small plane across the country with another guy. They flew out to the east coast and picked up a plane to bring back to Long Beach. They called and said that the weather had gotten bad and that he was diverting to visit his dad near Bozeman,MT for the night. Told me to track him on FlightAware and that he would call when he landed. I had never done this before...BUT what the heck. SO after a few hours I logged on entered all the information. Saw that he had taken off...followed the dashes...and BAM the plane icon fell out of the sky! Showing that it had CRASHED! NOT the page loading...not a malfunction of the website. A DOWNED AIRCRAFT! WTF and HFS and OMG! I freaked out. I called his dad who didn't answer! I called him who didn't answer! I started calling the FBO's in MT no answer! I called the 1-800 to FlightAware! I finally got ahold of some nice old man at the Bozeman airport (which was so small the calls actually went to his house)! I woke him up in what I thought was a calm concerned woman voice asking if this particular tail number had landed...which got a response of "young lady I would have to be at the airport to know that!"
I cried for about 30 minutes trying to catch my breath! Had all my worries been justified?...would his dad be showing up at the house to tell me that they were searching for wreckage?...what would I tell my children?...should I call his mom?...OK maybe I entered in the info wrong...I tried again and again...for more than an HOUR...same results! Called local hospitals of the 'crash site'...
When FINALLY I got my man on the phone he was fine. JUST FINE! Alive and not anything near a crash! Apparently the smaller planes don't always get updated as often as the commercial planes on FlightAware! Well hell...that could have been mentioned!

See on my wedding day someone asked me if I was ready to be a Pilot's Wife and I nearly laughed at the label...as I stood in a 9,000 sq foot historic airplane hangar that was decorated for our huge reception...with pink iced airplane shaped cookies...walked in as the new Mr&Mrs to the Top Gun theme song...watched planes land all night as we shared the night with our family AND I said no I am not ready to be a pilots wife, but I am going to love being his wife.

Goodness gracious what was I thinking! Guess I was thinking like any other independent woman that would be doomed in a relationship with a man who's career was actually a way of life. See pilots always have 'another love'... the sky...the plane...the office view. They also have high divorce rates! So it's no wonder our marriage has had so many 'take-offs and landings'...because my industry has high divorce rates too! For me it's rarely a factor of the 'other love' as much as it is the risk he takes.

Maybe I meet him so soon after 9/11 or that there are always plane crashes on the news or that I met him while he was still in college before he was even 21 and thought this love would fade (with the planes)! I don't know for sure. I have always been a risk vs. reward type of person and to me a job like that just was not worth the risk! Prior to marrying a pilot I was scared to death of flying...still am...except in his right seat! I have always had this strange gut fear of losing him. Even during our separation he would let me know when he was on the ground safely...after some time I stopped worrying so much. Here I am exactly 11 years after I met him still telling him to be careful every night. And finally figured out why pilots wives are labeled. Just like a cop wife or a Marine wife or all the other wives that have ever not slept with worry. BECAUSE WE F*ING EARNED IT! We are proud of our husbands. We worry for them. We love them. They have jobs with more risk than most. (PS mad props to the cop wives...I would have never even gone on a first date...that's too much stress for me:)

It took some time for me. It took finding out that there are other pilots wives (who have great blogs btw) and that I am not alone. I guess most of all it took time for me to understand that there is a handsome pilot out there who is doing what he loves and always dreamed to be...I can respect that. I can understand that and I love that. Shall the day come he wants to make me a baker's wife or a preacher's wife or a stay-at-home dad's wife...I will love any of those even more :) While being away from your spouse for work is common, it wasn't what the first 6 years of our relationship was and took some time to get used to for us both. So used to being glued at the hip for so many years and loving every minute of it...having all that time away disconnected us from who 'we' were meant to be. I think though we have seen better and we have seen worse...now we just get to enjoy the stuff in between until the new work schedule comes out or he has enough hours for an upgrade!

I may not have this whole Pilot's Wife thing figured out. I know that the love (of the planes) is not fading anytime soon and I did figure out that one of the many things I was great at this whole time was being a wife to a Handsome Pilot. Call me what you will...

And right on schedule the text of safety comes in...and a beautiful nap awaits me...good night clouds he shall meet you again tomorrow :)


(Photo is from 2008--My First & Only Flight Lesson! He waited years to get me to do that! Made him happy :)