Thursday, July 7, 2011

...And Dru Makes Three!

Well-- In comedy things are best in 3' God must have a sense of humor that kills!

My third blessing came at a very ironic time in my life. A time filled with confusion and when the strength of my family and marriage were being tested to the extremes. I could have never imagined how it would all turn out, but I wouldn't have wanted to ruin the ending like I do with books! All these stories I share are mearly stories in a lifelong tale that continues to write itself while we are busy living it everyday. Audree Elizabeth taught me that. She is of course named for Audrey Hepburn. Her middle name after my beautiful Grandma Jones. Another strong woman I was honored to be loved by and learn from.  Audree is spelled differently to honor her french heritage and to fulfill my love of making my children spell out their name every time...cuz I do!

While Audree was a surprise, she is a blessing not the less. As every mother asks themselves the famous question after the first child I asked myself 'How will I have enough love for ANOTHER child?". I think we for moments just couldn't imagine how our hearts could possibly have enough love for another life and worry that it won't so we will have to divide up the love we currently are giving to our partners and other children. If you have two you already know that it happens! You love and then you love the next one just as much! So why did I still questioned it with the third? Silly hormones messing with a pregnant woman's emotions!

My pregnancy with Audree was insane. Having made it through a few bouts of cervical cancer...we all often wondered if my body could handle this one. It was at times stressful and bed rest and mommy having to sit still (which I don't do well), but we made it through. Then we made it past the due date. I was nesting pretty hard because we moved just 2 weeks before I was due. Actually driving across the country with both kids, both dogs, my mom, a moving truck, and a bun in the oven. Didn't even tell or ask the doctor cuz I knew the answer would be NO stay here until she is born. No way was daddy missing the birth of this baby and no way was I staying behind while he unpacked. So away we went. Only for the moving truck to nearly catch on fire due to bad breaks and get stuck at the Oregon border rest area. On my 30th birthday...which was on Labor Day!  Where nothing lives...not cell reception...not hospitals...not auto parts stores...not a tow company...just a bathroom and grass to wander in. I thought for sure baby was coming that day. I was having contractions (not consistent), my back was killing me, and most importantly that would be the luck! I made it through...enjoyed my birthday dinner in a fly infested restaurant lovingly named The Redneck Cafe. I was with my mom and my family...I couldn't have asked for more!

Dru was a nick name I gave her while I was still pregnant. Nobody gets it but me...and I am okay with that. Sometimes I think her and I will always have a secret understanding that only her and I 'get'...I am okay with that too!

Anyhow Dru came late. I was so antsy and the new doctor wouldn't induce despite ALL the medical concerns...there were A LOT! Once my water actually broke she took her sweet ole' time. My labor would NOT start. I never had consistent contractions...and 20 mins before I delivered they told me it would be a few more hours and someone was going to come talk to me about a C-Section. WHAT! I don't want drugs and you think I want you to chop a baby out of me with...HELL NO! Thankfully she received her eviction notice and I had to 'hold her in' while we waited for the doctor that was told less than 5 minutes ago we had hours. Let me tell you men who are reading CAN NOT hold a baby in.  Just in the nick of time walks in my doctor (who was a resident doc), his attending doc, and an INTERN-- that had only been and INTERN doc for 15 minutes prior to walking in to deliver his first baby! He had a look of fear on his face similar to a man standing at the end of the barrel on a loaded shot gun. In his nervousness he was telling me over and over like a drill sergeant to 'get the baby out'! DUDE this is my THRID time...I got this! Was what I was thinking but what came out was 'YOU WANT IT OUT. THEN YOU GET IT OUT! OR SHUT UP!' My doctor said told me to 'calm down' to which I responds 'CALM HIM DOWN!'
About 30 seconds later he had delivered his first baby and I had delivered my third. Cord around her neck and he stayed calm and just handled like a pro. I think he will make a fine doc, but he may not end up an OB after that!
She was handed off quickly to the respiratory team in the room (yes, if you do the count there were about 9 people in the room. Dru made ten.). I heard her cry. Daddy cut the cord and took pictures. He had them uploaded onto FB before I breastfed her for the first time...what a world we live in today. What I recall the most was the few seconds they laid her on my tummy she twisted her little body and neck to look at me. Her expression seemed to say 'huh? that's what you look like' and all I could muster up was 'my beauty'! It was those brief seconds when that love I had carried for my other two girls grew bigger and the love for Audree flooded into completion. Mothers can do them all so them all the same. Fathers do too, they just don't have hormones making them worry about whether they will or won'
When I finally held her it strangely didn't feel like the first time. Like she had always been here. Holding your third baby is amazing, mostly because you aren't a scared new mom wondering how it will work or how you will sleep or if it will all be okay. It's just peace. It's looking over at her father and catching eyes with a look that says 'yo! we got this'. The original look between new parents says 'holy fucking shit'. This time it was just different and just as nice. We were relaxed and confident and ready to go home.

Audree still gives the same look as she did the first time we 'met'. She is a tiny treasure in my army of girls. Smart and sensitive, yet confident and bold! She is a by the book child. Does nothing 'early' or 'late'...she is super observant like Grayce and super GO like Ava. Cuddly and wild. Brave and cautious. I can't describe the perfect blend of Grayce and Ava she is growing to be. Dru pays attention to what they are doing all the time and more now is putting into action what they do. I just know that she is going to have NO problem growing into her place as an individual in this group of Hollygirls!

I die for her expressions. So animated. So sincere.

I -- of course could go on and on about my babies. Today I won't. Now I have talked about them all as individuals. I am the luckiest mom. I strive to make them proud of me and let them know I am ALWAYS proud of them. I always will be win or lose.

I am here for them. I am living my dream! Oh yes it is hard from time to time. I am not so much seeking the illusive Hollywood dream of fame. I just wanted to work in tv and film. I do that. Granted I am a freelancer so it's hard sometimes, but in those times where I feel like giving up I can look at them and know that I am doing the right thing. They are taken care of and provided for by me. They are loved. My girls sacrifice nothing in order for me to be here... and Audree won't remember any of!

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