Mother's Day this year was fantastic :) Couldn't have asked for more beautiful weather or more beautiful people to spend it with.
Saturday night my girlfriend and her family were here after a fun filled afternoon at the park. The guys pulled together to make us an amazing steak dinner. Even served it to us while we kept our feet up. Sunday morning I woke up to the beauties whispering, giggling and conspiring. I pretended to be asleep, mostly because laying there just felt nice. Grayce cooked my eggs, AJ prepared yogurt and an orange she peeled all by herself while Dru and Daddy made my steak. I am certain her contribution to it was just sitting there saying 'staaake' over and over again. Then I got my cards, gifts they made at school and breakfast in bed. Such a sweet morning...wish they could all be that sweet :)
I will have to post a picture of the cards I received later, but for now an explanation will have to do.
Grayce drew a lovely picture of her and I ... but the first sentence read something like "I promise I will be better." Followed by some bits about how wonderful I am as her mother. To be honest my heart sank a little bit when I read that...my first thought was "what am I doing as her mother that thinks she is not good enough?" My mind started racing back to recent events in the house...
1. TV and video game suspension until further notice due to too much of it recently. Which was something they had worked so hard to gain back after last year.
2. Bickering amongst the girls had lead to ONE full day of NOT being allowed to play with each other. Which lasted about 3 hours and my mission of showing them how lucky they are to have 'friends God gave them'.
3. Overdose of Grayce's homework meant AJ was having all the fun with the TV and Grayce was getting a bit resentful.
4. Hearing many lectures from mommy about all the above topics, plus how we need to be more grateful for the things that we have and worry less about what we don't have.
As a Mommy to 3 GIRLS I tend to worry about the WOMEN they will become someday. While I want them to be mostly like me...I still have hopes they will be better. That things will come easier. That lessons can be learned along the way early on rather than painful later. I am a mommy. I tend to worry about things most wouldn't bother themselves with worrying about. In the last 2 years I feel I have balanced my worrying out with confidence that I am making good choices for them. I am setting good examples for them. I am at least doing something right if I am able to evaluate the job I am doing and question my own methods from time to time. Sometimes I look at how things are going and take out what is not working, leave what does work, then try something new all together.
For my sweet Grayce I have learned that for all the sweet independence and confidence that she oozes out into this world; there is also this quirky, honest, and unsure girl inside. She needs the most reassurance out of all my girls, yet is the only one that never asks for it on a daily basis. After talking to her later I discovered that the lack of confidence was NOT coming from home or from me or from any of the above mentioned occurrences. And for the first time in a few years I looked at her and saw MYSELF. Everyone always tries to convince me she is just like her daddy with the way she is...I have argued this before and was never quite heard. She heart and soul is just like her mother!
Every bit of what I questioned before I had answered...I know just what she needs!
Being a mommy is rarely easy, yet ALWAYS worth it.